Good morning and good day everyone. Here in northern California, we’ve experienced an absolute downpour of rain since the day after Thanksgiving. Speaking of which, my Thanksgiving was tremendous. There were some people from my extended family, a friend’s family, and my own family all together for a day of laughing, fun, food, and togetherness. Of course, there was one person missing that I thinking about almost every day, my Grandpa, who passed away not two weeks ago. It’s hard losing someone who you’ve grown up used to seeing on every holiday, random visits, and whatnot. However, at age 94, he had lived a full life and was ready to meet his Father, sister, and family. A WWII veteran, father of 9, and one of my inspirations in my writing, I cannot reemphasize how wonderful of a life he lived and gave all of his descendants. I can only pray to be the man he was in this life.
However, in today’s post, I want to talk about this rain in relation to today’s song of the day: “Winds of Change” by Kutless. I know yesterday I hinted at other artists, but after hearing it this morning, I couldn’t bring myself to not incorporate it into today’s post.
“Can you feel the pains in life? Wrapped around you like they’re chains, Restricting all your dreams, DO you wonder if there is a way—a way to set you free.”
I couldn’t say that I’ve been the happiest I’ve been this last week, despite being excited for my journey. However I feel with each day I begin to feel a little better and more confident that God will bring balance and healing to my situation. I certainly feel like my pain has me wrapped up to the point where I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning, but I haven’t been able to sleep either. Prayer for peaceful rest helps and I think it gives me enough, but I guess one benefit is that I wake up early in the morning, which gives me time to do things like write posts like this, listen to my music, and get into the Word. I’ve begun the process of dissecting the first book of Peter after just reading through it in a night. I believe it will give me the hope and inspiration that I need at this time. I’ll post my findings and thoughts when I finish.
Then the chorus comes
“So tell Me all your dreams, tell Me all your fears, and what you’re longing for the most. It’s not another way that’ll end up the same for it’s under My control.”
In terms of worldly dreams, God knows that I have one dream and one fear at this time. However, He knows that I trust him even though it’s hard to trust that His Will is what the outcome will be in the end. I have a few other dreams that are important, but none near as important as the one closest to my heart. He knows I have dreams of drawing nearer to Him and being able to trust Him to the point where I know he will answer my deepest prayer, heal me, and strengthen me in the process. Which brings me to the next line.
“Do you feel the winds of change? Soon this weight will fall away and take you to a place only found through these winds of change. A breeze that’s new and free.”
At this point I wouldn’t say I feel winds, I’d say I feel more of a tornado, and I’m safe in the bunker as I wait for this weight to fall off my shoulders. Soon the storm will pass and I will exit the bunker changed, reunited, strengthened, at peace, and new.
“I’ll be the one who you can cry to, the one who will give you wings, I will give you wings.”
Guys don’t admit they cry, but I haven’t felt this conflicted, devastated, restless, and helpless in all of my life. I cannot get through this alone. I could really use those wings right now. During the day I have started being more positive and determined to right the ship, but nights are still hard.
But…
“Someday we’ll sail away mounted up on wings like eagles. We will run and will not fade away.”
I can’t help but think of someone else when I listen to this. But I believe this is true and such a great way to end such a great song. It leaves you with hope, which is something that I desperately need. I have it, a lot of it actually, but it’s like I have blinders on and can only be led by the person who is in control of the reigns. It’s like I’m training myself to trust whoever has those reigns knows what he’s doing. And I know he does, but even the best trained of horses jump, kick, knock off their rider, and go a completely different direction than you expect.
I think I’ll leave this post at that. I don’t want to get in the habit of writing 2000 words every day. (You guys are like, WHEW! …I know…) I hope everyone has a spectacular day. I’ll hopefully be meeting with a few people today that I’m really excited to talk to, so that’s what I have to look forward to and am thankful for.
My requests for prayer today:
That my talks with all of these people go well
For my journey’s progress to continue
For strength, comfort, and confidence
Song of the day:
“Winds of Change” – Kutless
Spencer Vaishville 